first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
