I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
