he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
