bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
