I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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