But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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