he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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