I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
