the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
