chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
that's an acceptable place to lick
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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