the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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