Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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