Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
