I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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