Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My bed smells like the plague
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
