You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
