You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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