He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I checked into jail on foursquare
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
