God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
