i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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