i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
