so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
