you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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