i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
