you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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