So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize