Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
