He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
