I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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