It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
