that's an acceptable place to lick
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
