I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
