8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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