Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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