we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
