Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
