my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
