; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
