clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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