Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
