You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's always time for handjobs
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
