if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
