You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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