I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
