No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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