Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
