I heard we made out
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
