Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
