I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
