How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
