my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
