I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
