i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
