I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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