i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
