a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
