New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize