Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Are we still banned from the library?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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