...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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