I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
